There’s this blue eyed boy that has had my heart for over 13 years- From the moment I found out I was pregnant with him I was terrified. I mean I had no idea how I was going to take care of this baby. I felt like I was a baby myself. I remember questioning God- I remember asking him what he was thinking giving me a baby, I remember looking up and just crying with my hands open, telling God he was crazy if he thought this was going to be a good idea.
My pregnancy with this sweet boy was one for the books- I spent the entire 9 months puking- all day every day. I was emotional, and I felt completely worn out. I remember seeing his sweet self on the sonogram. I did’n’t really know what I was looking at, but it was the single most perfect thing that I had ever seen. I remember just starring at the screen in awe of the fact that there was an actual growing baby in my belly. My emotions started to settle down and I did start to feel better about having a baby- I just knew with every ounce of my being that I was going to have a daughter. I even bought some cute little girl outfits and I would fantasize about how awesome it was going to be for us-
The moment of truth- My mom and I head to my appointment; this is the appointment that the doctor was going to confirm that I was having a sweet baby girl. I lay back and she starts the sonogram- Then she says, “Congratulations!!! It’s a boy!!” ahhhhh WHAAT! Did you just say that I am having a boy? I just lay there crying for about 20 minutes- My fears were back. I just looked up and again- I said, “God, seriously! A boy? What am I going to do with a boy?” I mean I had no idea what to do with a boy. I was a girls girl. I felt sad because I knew I was going to be a single Mom, and I feared that my son was going to be missing out by not having a dad.
I spent the next few days trying to wrap my head around having a boy- Finally I started to feel better about it, and it wasn’t long and labor was starting- I didn’t know I was in labor, all I knew was that I felt a ton of pressure and weird pains. I remember doing my hair and make up and having just a ton of energy. It was labor alright. Thankfully too because I was 2 weeks over due. I mean my skin was about to tear open. I just knew it.
After over 30 hours of being in labor and 2 in a half hours of pushing- the doctor informs me that she has to shove his head back in because the cord is wrapped around his neck- wheeeeeew! Drugs and a C-Section later. I woke up holding this perfectly amazing little angel. I mean I had never seen something so perfect in all my days at that moment in time. Every fear, every pain, every every thing just stopped. From that moment I knew that I was going to do everything I could to make sure this baby boy didn’t feel like he was missing out because he didn’t have a man in his life. I should have known based on my pregnancy and birth that we were going to get through some crazy moments together.
Just the two of us! This boy from day one was the easiest going baby- He didn’t know a stranger and he had the patience of a saint. He loved sports everything from such an early age. He was golfing before the age of 2, and got his first “real” set of golf clubs at the age of 2. This was amazing! I didn’t know any other child that could handle having his own real golf clubs at this age and not break something. I should have known right then that this boy was going to do something great!
Through out this boys entire life he has handled each situation with such grace and understanding. It hasn’t been easy that’s for sure. We have moved several times and had people in and out of our lives. The one thing that has held true through it all is that God has continued to place such amazing people in our lives.
At the age of 2 this boy would sit and color in a booth while I worked at Bob Evans, during the ages 2-3 he would also come to class with me, he would sit perfectly quiet, and let me make it through class. I served at Frickers, and this sweet boy would come with me at the age of 4 and sit and color in the evenings. During the ages 4-6 I bar-tended and I was also a CNA- I would go to the bar in the afternoons before opening so that he could come with me and hangout while I got everything ready, he would also come with me to the nursing home during my charting hours. During that time I started managing at a hotel and he would come with me and do scheduling, interviews, cleaning, and front desk operations.
What a trooper- this is the only life that he knew and thankfully I had awesome bosses and teachers that allowed this to happen. He didn’t come to work or class with me everyday- He did have a babysitter, and he spent time with friends and my brother, but I didn’t always have money to pay a sitter and on those time he would either come with me or go to my brothers. It is what it is.
He played football and baseball from the age of 4, he also added golf soccer to that list for a couple of seasons. He also went to preschool at the age of 4, then a private school after that- these things all cost money and that meant working multiple jobs and still making it to every practice and game. I look back and this boy just amazes me. Since this boy was so into sports I have made it a job to figure out everything I needed to know about each sport that he has been into. I have made sure to familiarize myself with each sport and the equipment, the positions that he has played- I mean what have you. I was the mom playing catch with him while the other kids were playing catch with Dad. I didn’t care and neither did he.
We have moved several times and with each move he has welcomed it with open arms- He continues to put himself out there and try different things. He has never allowed the fact that his biological dad isn’t in the picture to hinder him and where he’s going. He has maintained a calm sense of self and continues to work hard.
This 13 year old blue eyed baby boy has a huge heart and continues to amaze me daily. My prayer for him is that he continues to maintain his sense of self and he continues to push through never using his past as a way to hinder his future.
I am writing this because he deserves praise-