Parenthood / Motherhood
Most girls fantasize about having children: We think about having a little girl and dressing her in the cutest little dresses or having a little boy and he will look like a little man. We see other people with kids screaming in public, we see parents with kids having unmatching clothes, we see everything in between and we say “Never” never will I let my kid act like that, never will I let my child dress like that, never will I behave like that as a parent. Never, never, never, and then the day happens:
You take this little test and it confirms that you are pregnant, maybe you get that phone call that you are about to get a child, maybe it’s that you meet this amazing person and they already have children and you get thrown into having children.
Either way you reach this stage called parenthood! You see this child for the first time and you tell yourself you are going to do everything in your power to ensure this child has the best upbringing possible. You are going to move heaven and earth to ensure this child feels love, knows they have potential, and has dreams ect.
Then everything you fantasized about kind of blows up in your face and you realize that this thing called Motherhood is EXHAUSTING! Emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. It legit takes everything out of you from day one. Pregnancy: the baby takes all of your nutrients, energy, and health
Infancy: sleepless nights, sleepless days
Toddlers: they will push you to the brink of existence, and then bring you back with a simple kiss or hug
Kids: They test your patience; you know nothing, and they have awful lives:
Teens: You worry, worry, worry, they question everything you do, and test every bit of everything they can
This is where I stop because this is where I am. The only thing that is true with any of these stages is that you have no clue what you are doing! Each stage brings new chaos! Each stage brings new worries, and each stage brings new joys! The highs are beyond anything you could have imagined, but at the same time the lows are ones that will drop you to your knees in a way nothing else ever will.
I know a few truths:
I know is that our job as parents isn’t to make our kids happy every day. Sometimes things that make us happy are not healthy. Our job is to show our kids unconditional love. They should always feel loved even when they are making questionable choices. We should show them boundaries, and set expectations. We should be teaching our kids that every action has a consequence. (a consequence can be positive and it can be negative)
Example: If you work all week at a job- what is your consequence: Paycheck
If you break the law- What is your consequence: Jail
I think sometimes we associate consequences with something negative when in fact that’s not the case.
One TRUTH that I know because of experience is that you have to be on the same level as your partner with parenting: Why? Because if one parent is letting a child act and behave a certain way with out any consequence it will hurt the relationship with the other parent and with your partner. Get on the same page as your partner and stand strong as a couple! Always put your husband or wife before your children- show them that your relationship is important so that they will emulate positive relationships when they get older. Without you realizing it you are showing your child how to be a partner every day. Are you showing your child how to love in a positive way?
FOLLOW THROUGH- We have to follow through. Set realistic expectations, give your child all the tools necessary to reach those expectations and follow through.
Being a Mom is especially hard because we love in such a fierce way. We are always trying to just shower our children with our attention, activities, and everything in between- The hardest part is this: When you take a job and your boss tells you what a good job you are doing or maybe a coworker shares positive reinforcements with you. That paycheck! It all feels good! Then Motherhood: The hours are long, the thank you’s are few and far between, the money is nonexistent, and on top of that the outside world makes you feel like a failure for being a stay at home Mom, and if you are a working Mom you get bashed too.
Today- I am telling you that you are doing a great job! You are not a failure! I know the hours are long, but they are worth it! I promise you! The only thing I know is that you celebrate those small victories every chance you get! You are appreciated- our children just don’t understand how awesome you are just yet, but they will!
– Keep on Keeping on and please for the love of everything, find something that makes you happy outside of your home, outside of your kids, something for you! It is imperative!
Find a village! We all need a village! It truly does take a village to raise our kids- Make sure that village is emulating love, accountability, and respect. Blood doesn’t mean village. Village is people that are surrounding you and your family with love and support. Make time for you and your significant other! There will come a time when your children are grown, they will be off living life. Then it’s just you and your partner. Meke time now. Your kids will thank you later for showing them how to love and showing them how to receive love!
Oh and one other thing when your kids bring you to your knees look up and talk to our Heavenly Father- He is listening! He is such a good good Father! He wants to help!