Self Expression is a beautiful thing
“What does your husband say about your little boys clothes?”
“Your making your son GAY!”
“I love what you’re doing!”
“You are braver than me.”
The questions / statements are everywhere… The funny thing is that until it was on my doorstep in the form of a 2 year old little boy that was fiercely in love with the color pink- MY EYES ARE OPEN WIDE
Here are the facts if at the age of 2 your little girl comes to you and says something along the lines (I love trucks) you are going to encourage her to love the trucks… I bet as a dad your wearing your celebration pants! If your little boy wants to play with dolls that is okay! They are going to be Dads, Uncles, Friends some time in there lives. I will tell you the most manly thing in my book is a man that can change a diaper without being asked! Teach your daughters to take the trash out! Teach your sons to wash dishes! Teach them both how to do laundry, and teach them both how to change a tire! Teach your son how to sew! Teach your daughters to mow the grass! Get rid of the gender roles in your house! Teach your daughters that if they want to be the breadwinner that it’s is completely healthy and great if the Dad wants to be a stay at home Dad! Encourage your kids to understand that as sons and daughters they are allowed to pursue things that make them happy not what society says is acceptable based on the genitalia that they have.
Chandler loves purple and everything rainbow! He is proud and loud about his color choices, and he loves gymnastics! Our 14 year old son loves red and black and he is loud and proud about that and he wants clothing that emulates his color choices, and he loves baseball and football. Our 18 year old loves hippy clothing and she is loud and proud, she likes girls and we completely support her sexality! We as parents choose to support our children in what they are interested in.
I have had people say to me, “Oh! Wow you let him out of the house with that on? You are brave!”
Am I brave or better yet am I a Mom that is teaching my child that he can like what he likes and that he doesn’t have to hide himself because society is a little scared? My goal everyday is to be teaching my children to be good people and to be firm in who they are, NOT firm in who I want them to be or who society says they can be.
I think one of the funniest parts of this whole thing is that a grown man is encouraged to wear all the colors of the rainbow and no one bats an eye, but a child does it and all of a sudden we are turning him “gay” ummmmmmmm I laugh a little and just say, “Oh, ofcoarse we are! We teaching our children to be happy with who they are! 🙂
My favorite one is, “What does your husband say?” Ummmmm he supports our child and encourages him to be who he is. After all that’s what a good dad does! A good father doesn’t put his unachieved goals on the shoulders of said child. A good father shows love, compassion, and understanding! A good father teaches his children to be accepting of other people and the choices they make. A good father allows a child to express himself.
Last night at baseball practice for our 14 year old:
Chandler was riding his bike, dressed like a walking rainbow (it was pretty fabulous) At any rate, he’s having the time of his life and he meets a little girl that is riding her bike and they are heckling it up like a couple of hens (She loved his outfit and they were just having a great time. Another little boy about 8 or 9 (let’s not forget that Chan is 4) continually takes his hat off of his head and tells him that he’s wearing girl clothes…. Chandler comes over to me and God love this little boys sense of self!
He says, “Mom, a boy over there keeps saying that I’m wearing girl clothes and he keeps taking my hat…. I said well buddy, what did you say? With a giggle he says, “Well, I said your silly because these are just pants and this is just a shirt and this is just a hat.” Talk about proud mom moment!
I then went and found this little boy asked where his parents were because clearly at this age this is a learned behavior…. His Dad was busy coaching and so I took matters into my own hands: I knelt down to his level and said, “Hi Jackson! I’m Chrissy, Chandler’s Mommy. Hey Jackson, we should never take people’s things away from them. Let’s leave Chandlers hat on his head and lets be sure to leave all kids belongings with them unless we use our words and ask to use said items. Also Jackson, we should never make fun of people because of how they are dressed. Just because someone is dressed different than you doesn’t mean that’s not okay. Everyone is allowed to be different, so next time you feel like you want to say hurtful things to someone you could just not say anything. Okay buddy… Let’s all be friends! Friends are different. 🙂
This whole conversation took place around a huge group of 10-11 year old baseball boys and about 4 different coaches. The one coach patted me on the back and said thank you for that! It made me feel pretty good. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from. It doesn’t matter how much money or lack there of you have. It doesn’t matter if you play sports or do drama there will always be haters! Haters are everywhere and they aren’t going anywhere!
If you take anything from this: I hope that you take that as a People, please encourage kids to be who they are. Please teach kids that being unique is a beautiful thing! Please try to change your mindset that pink is for girls and blue is for boys… We all love a good rainbow! Colors make up our world and colors are just that colors! Take the pressure off!