Being a Mom is hard work!
When a person decides to be a “Stay at home Mom” or “Stay at home Dad” this is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly…
It’s funny being a part of the “working world” if you will we thrive when we have a good work family. We thrive when they can see that we are doing great work or going above and beyond. We yearn for approval. (At least I did to an extent). Then life changes… What a beautiful phrase- “Live Changes” It really is because change is good and bring new thoughts and hopefully we can look at change as a positive light and we can grow a little bit. Honestly, we should never stop growing… (getting off track a little)
Back to the beautiful phrase – “Live Changes” you decide collectively with your partner to be a stay at home parent…. It’s a wonderful conversation. You have feelings of excitement and I know for me I envisioned trips to the zoo, parks, reading books, playing with play doh, panting, counting, and just have a fabulous time. It was going to be so great for the biggs. In my mind I would take them to school / pick them up and we would laugh and talk about the day… Maybe I would surprise them at school with balloons and little snacks. Just wonderful memories would be created! I was going to have time to do my hair (I wasn’t going to be like other SAHM’s that wore sweats and didn’t put on makeup) Not me! I was going to be the “Perfect Stay at Home MOM” The baby was going to be potty trained at like 1 and speaking full sentences and just have amazing vocabulary. My big kids were going to be just GREAT! I would wake up early and make awesome breakfasts, and lunches were going to be super healthy, and the house was going to be so organized! I was going to have time for all of these shenanigans! I was going to just embrace my children the way that a loving Mother does!
Then reality sets in and you realize quick… putting make up on and wearing nice clothes goes out the window… Your baby pukes all over you and poos too… hahah It’s also easier to breast feed when you aren’t wearing that super nice shirt. The house isn’t as clean as you thought it was going to be… You so tired from being up all night that no one has energy to get the paint out because that requires a lot more work than you envisioned it would. Your sweet baby quickly turns into a toddler before you can even say the word toddler. He has no interest in reading books like you thought you would. Instead he just wants to drive all one hundred of his match box cars throughout the house and you realize that they can break your foot in seconds. He wants to help you do everything (so sweet!) Let me break that down for you… That means: unfolding the clothes you worked very hard to fold, that means unloading the dishwasher that you just loaded with dirty dishes (he puts the dirty ones in the cabinet with the clean ones and now we have triple the dishes to wash. 🙂 This also means sweeping all the dog hair that you just put in a perfect pile to be sucked up by the shark… welll he wants to sweep too that means dog hair is back in the places you just get it from…
In the midst of all of that happening you realize it’s time to go and get one of the biggs from school…. (The house is a wreck! You are a wreck! The toddler is still in just underware (begging for a diaper so that he can squat down and poo) you have to get the diaper quick let him do his business and well we can finally be on our way to get one of the biggs… Yes we are the family that gets there about 15 minutes late (did I mention that I am still a mess- hair and clothes) You ask her how her day was and before she can answer the toddler is throwing things from the back seat…. I just say, “Hey, we will talk about your day after I get this boy down for his nap.” We finally arrive home and I can the toddler down for his nap (after about an hour of awesomeness… come back out to talk about her day… she is sleeping on the couch. I look at the clock I have 15 minutes before I need to leave to get the other big (this is plenty of time to do some house work) I start cleaning and I am feeling so good about myself… This house is looking good! DAMNET! I look at the clock and it’s time to go (like 10 minutes ago) I get there about 15 minutes late to get him…. (Well, at least I’m not showing favotism) You have to take the positives when you can get them… Get home and realize dinner is not even started not only that, but I didn’t even get anything out… UGH Looks like pizza is for dinner (#parentingfail in retrospect, but #parentingwin in the eyes of the biggs)
All of the dreams I had about SAHP have just blown up and that is just one day… hahahaha
I can just tell you for me everyday is an adventure… Some days I win and some days I don’t so much… Some days my house is clean and others I would be mortified if anyone saw it… Some days I am loving and patient and other days I am a raging lunatic! Some days I am creative and fun and others I am more like a bump on a log! Some days I smile a lot and others I frown and cry A LOT) Some days I want to go back to work so that I can feel appreciated! Some days I want to be a Stay at home Mom for LIFE! Some days I look up and say, “God, you really do know what your doing! You were right I got this! Thank you! Other days I look up and shake my head and say, “I’m not 100 percent convinced that you really knew what you were doing when you thought me and three kids was going to be a good idea, but I guess I’m gonna trust ya! Some days I will say, “I’m all done with this” ahahah Some times I make them the best most healthy meals! Other days they might eat pizza rolls for every meal.
The one thing that holds true is my love for them! I love them even in the worst of moments! I love them for life! They are my kids for life! Now, this doesn’t means that I like them everyday… because let me just say there are moments that I shake my head and think gosh, “I’m not liking the person that your being.” They know how to push me to the brink of my existence and them butter me up like a roll…. They make like exciting! Scary! Sad! Maddening! EVERYTHING in between…
The fact is that none of us know what we are doing! We are all just doing what we can with what we have… I know in our house we are trying to just love our kids and teach them right from wrong… I will say that having teens is well…. It’s a whole other ball game… hahaha and well having teens and a spirited toddler to boot…. Most days I feel emotionally, physically, and mentally drained. There are others I feel like man we are doing something right… and Others I shake my head and think how are they ever going to be functioning members of society…. hahhhahaha
it takes a village! Embrace your village and let them help because no body can and no body should every raise and child on his or her own.