Understanding

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Our bigs are testing waters at this point… I find that on a daily basis we are at a loss of how to handle certain situations… We are confused at what the right thing to do is…

Last night I think we were able to come up with an idea… When you first become a parent no one knows what they are doing. I think as parents we all want the same thing. We want to raise functioning members of society. We all want our kids to be respectful, we want them to put there best foot forward, we want them to be honest, and we want them to have happy hearts. I think as our kids get older we tend to over think the situation and change our expectations… I am realizing that maybe we need to stick with the basics… We need to have the same expectations that we had when they were little and they are good expectations to have.

I have been praying for patience a lot over the past few weeks. There are times where I feel like I might explode. I cried an incredible amount of tears and questioned every aspect of my life. I went to google and I typed in “Patience” and clicked on images. I found this image..

I read it and started crying one more time… I am now taking a step back from the picture in front of me (my life), and I am realizing that this is bigger than me. God has shown me patience from day one. He loved me even when I wasn’t showing him love. He chose me even when I didn’t choose him first. He stuck by my side even when I doubted him. He has proven to me that he is here for me even when I chose to push him away because I was “so strong” and could handle it on my own.

This brings light to my life. I prayed last night for understanding.. I think he is helping me to understand what I need to do. I need to stay strong, and I need to stay patient, and I need to ask for help. I need to take deep breaths and I need to smile.

Life isn’t guaranteed, but his love is. He chose me to be a parent. He chose to bless me with three amazing kids. I ask him daily what he was thinking, but he apparently knows what he is doing. He has faith in me! He placed me here for a reason…

I choose the good with the bad, I choose to put my best foot forward, I choose to embrace this life that I am given, I choose to keep going, I choose to accept help, I choose this life.