Things I have learned about being a Mother
Mothering (loving a child, taking care of a child, being there for a child, disciplining a child) is the single hardest and most Amazing job ever! There are days you will feel on top of the world! Like you conquered it! Then there are those days where you feel like the biggest failure on the face of this earth! There are days you kids will make your heart sing songs of praise to the big man of upstairs and still those days that you will cry out in agony to the big man upstairs. There are days you will say, “What just came out of my mouth?” “Wow! My Mom was right!” (This happens A LOT) “Did I act like this at that age?” “Are you 18 yet?” “Can you stay this size for life” There will be a lot of dskjfa;lskfjadslk aslkfjjsdlfkjd allkfjjsdalkfj as;llkfkjsdlfkj alskfjjsadlfkjwe hahah A lot of I love you’s and Get out of my face! One thing holds true through it all no matter what you will hug them and love them all your days.
For me being a Mom at the age of 20… Whew! I was a selfish person and I had no idea what I was getting myself into or better yet what God could possibly be doing… I look back and I was very strict with Jacob. He didn’t have sweets, wore the best outfits, wasn’t a loud to get dirty, was playing sports at age of 4 and staying busy. The busier the better… Gosh, we struggled… I struggled. It was difficult to figure out how to be a Mom and still be me… I had such high standards for how he should act. He never really acted like a toddler… No fits, no slammed doors, no talking back. He was just a laid back guy that went with the flow. I have always said and will continue to say that God knew exactly what he was doing! He had a plan. Life was a little rough for us. We moved a lot, I worked a ton, and I went through a selfish phase after my Mom passed and spent a lot of time… It was easier than facing reality. Thankfully we had some Amazing frineds/family that had our back.
Jacob has taught me how to have unconditional love, he taught me how to be a Mom, he has shown me how to be strong even when I don’t know how, he has shown me that there really is medicine in laughter. He has shown me that no matter how strict I was on him he is still a normal 12 year old that has a messy room. He pushes the boundaries, and he isn’t striving to be the next big thing in sports… Now in saying that he is very responsible. He is the best big brother. Here we are 12 years later and he has the best heart. He is a very giving person, and I am proud of the young man that he is becoming.
About 5 years ago a sweet girl came into my life. I became a “Step Mom” if you will, but in our house we don’t use those terms… We are a family and I became a Mom for the 2nd time. Wheeeeeeeew! She has proven that there is enough room in my heart to love more than one child. She has taught me how. It has been bitter sweet! Getting to know her was easy and felt natural. Trying to understand her past and her as a baby, toddler, kid… became important. I wanted to understand things that happened in her life. She has sown me that my Mom was right more times than not. She has taught me to embrace different… She has proven that there isn’t a one size fits all. She is a person all her own. We have had many many ups and downs. She has pushed the envelop more times than not… It was a transition… Just like anything in life. She reaffirmed my thought in that giving birth to a child doesn’t make you a Mother. She is proving that being a teenager is hard, but being a teen in today’s world isn’t something I want to do. It’s funny how it all happned Before I knew it I was taking care of her, thinking about her when she wasn’t there, being present at everything possible… People were asking how many kids I had and before I knew I was blurting out 2! I felt like my family was complete. I had a daugher!! How exciting… We have criend many tears, and also laughed many laughs. I love the relationship that we have. I feel so blessed that God chose me to be there for her. What a great feeling. He chose me to love her, take care of her, and get her through this crazy thing we call life!
Chandler… wow, talk about a surprise! I was told by doctors that I wouldn’t be able to carry a baby to term… Really they wanted to give me a hysterectomy (my niece Terri thankfully didn’t allow that to happen). Those doctors were wrong… 3 years ago this boy made me a Mom of 3. My parenting style with him is completely different… Breast fed, home made baby food, I carried him when he wanted carried (still do). He did not cry it out. He wears whatever wherever… I let him pick everything out. I am much more laxed… I let him be his own person. He has taught me more patience than I ever thought possible, he has taught me to stop and smell the flowers (literally). He has taught me how to slow down. He has taught me how live and let live. He has made our lives interesting and Amazing.
Really the only thing I know is that I love my kids… There are moment’s that I don’t really like them (I don’t like the things that they are doing)… I have learned that not everything is taught… our 3 year old is sore loser… He can not stand to lose and throws huge fits… I am pretty sure he has never seen us laying on the ground throwing a fit… I have learned that kids are messy no matter how clean our house is or how many baskets and shelves they have to put things on or in… hahhah I have learned that each one of them will push me to my breaking point and then butter me up with a simple I love you… (damn kids). I have learned that I am a pushover. I try and stick to my guns…. but I gotta say that I have learned that I will allow a little extra screen time if it means that I get to talk to my friend on the phone for a couple more minutes 🙂 I have learned that we are all just doing what we can with what we have…. I have learned that going to the bathroom alone is like a vacation! I have learned that I can function on almost no sleep. I have learned that I am winning and failing all at the same time… It’s okay! I have learned is that I know NOTHING absolutely NOTHING The BIGGEST thing that I have learned is that God is AWESOME and I am thankful he has allowed me to experience thse children!