Celebrate you- it’s okay
The last few weeks have really been a struggle for me. I am constantly fighting back tears, constantly yearning for approval, and more times than not I am forgetting about myself…
We as Mom’s tend to solely focus on our kids and forget that we are still here on this precious earth. I think a lot of times we even forget to focus on our partner in the hustle and bustle of life… Well, losing my nephew has really hit me hard. The last time I put my heels on for an event was my nephews memorial and that wasn’t the kind of event that I wanted to be at. It’s the kind of event that shouldn’t have had to take place. As a mom I am the last person to eat when a meal is prepared, I am the last person to get ready when trying to go somewhere, I am the last person I buy for, and I am the person who get’s thanked the least. I am not complaining about these things. I love being a Mom and I love that I get to experience this. I am just stating some simple truths… Also normally when I post I am posting about the kids in some fashion….
As a cheer coach I am viewed as not as important as the other sports because most people don’t know exactly what cheerleading is… So because of the fact that they are ignorant they give a nice smile with a nod knowing that they have no idea what they are talking about. (I am a really good coach! 🙂
Having said all of that before I go any further I will say that as a partner I feel beautiful and pretty awesome most of the time. He does a good job at letting me know that the things I am doing are important…
Moving on, I used to get dressed up all the time, I think the reason I am thinking about all of this now is that my nephew was so young and his life was here and gone in a second… I guess I just don’t want to go through this life saying next year… later on. and so forth…. He had plans to be married next year and he didn’t get to do that… his partner didn’t get to marry the love of his life. This breaks my heart so much.
There are things that I still love… I love getting dressed up, I love wearing heels (for a shorter length of time), I love to take pictures and really remember the moment with that, I love to embrace change (most of the time) I love to dance! I always have… (I was pretty good at it too, for a white girl I can/could shake it with the best of them, I wasn’t dancing for approval from anyone else I was dancing because it made my heart happy) I am not saying I want to do that all the time… I love hearing the ocean, I love meeting new people… I love coaching cheerleading for football season! I love to laugh! I love to be around friends! I love to drink wine and little fu fu drinks! I love to have my hair brushed (my mom used to do this nightly) I love to drink a huge cup of coffee before it get’s cold! (I think this will happen today because I am up before everyone else) I love the sunshine and warm weather (one day I will live in the warm weather!) I love to sing all my favorite songs loud like I am the rockstar! (because I am the rockstar who are you to tell me I’m not. I’m not singing for you… I’m singing for me) I like to do crafts and I am getting better. I like learning new things… I like the fact that I am almost an official college grad once my degree gets here! I like to help others! I like to crochet, I like to sit outside in the sunshine, I like to take super hot showers, I like to bask in the sun, I like to cook (I have the Rachel Ray pan set) I like to host dinner parties, and I like the fact that I am keeping on.
I love waking up everyday to my partner (he makes my heart happy – most of the time lol) I love his strong embraces that tell me that everything is good. I love his touch! I love my kids (Each of them in different ways) They are also the cause of my insanity a lot of the time, but I keep telling myself if we can just get past this “short” stint in time with out me being locked away then we are gonna be good.
I think sometimes it’s good to celebrate you! Take a moment and celebrate you…