A firm foundation

Build your Love on a firm foundation-

This question- What is love? The answer to this question is all over, but I believe the one that gets believed most times is the one that media would lead us to believe. You know when you are watching that movie or show and they depict “‘perfect.” This idea that you meet someone and you experience “Love at first sight” it basically slaps you in your face. The fact is that while meeting someone for the first time you can have a preconceived notion that you might love this person, but you you are more than likely feeling Lust. Meeting someone and loving them for there outward beauty probably won’t last because as we age and our bodies change that love will die out if its based on something as silly as outward appearance.

Throughout the years I have pondered this question for so long- I look at relationships that have lasted the time, and those that have been short lived, and experiencing a few relationships myself, i know that when I was younger I thought I was in love, but after it blew up in my face I was able to step outside of that relationship and just look at it as a whole. I look at the relationships that have lasted a life time – My aunt and Uncle have been married 53 years, and my friends grandparents 52 years, and my parents were married over 30 years and many more. These long lasting loves all have one thing in common TRUST. They each care for each other, they encourage and help each other grow in life, they respond to each others expressed and unexpressed needs, there is a mutual respect, and they want each other to grow and unfold – they want each other to be who they are, not an “Idea” of who they want them to be.

In the bible God says, Love is about how you behave and treat others-

Think about your relationship or past relationships and ask yourself these questions-
1. Do you and your partner demonstrate care in helping each other in life growth?
2. Do you and your partner respond to each others expressed and unexpressed needs?
3. Do you Respect each other? This means are you able to see your partner for who they are – Not who you want them to be.
4. Do you have a want to help your partner grow and unfold into who they are?
5. Do you trust you partner?

The truth is that being in a relationship is hard hard work! It’s very hard to open yourself up completely and allow someone else to be involved because of fear of being hurt. Sometimes a relationship will start out of “lust” and as it evolves one partner wants that person to be someone else and they fight and fight because said partner isn’t who they are wanting them to be, but yet they claim that they love that person?? Maybe- we need to step outside of our relationship for a minute and ask ourselves-

What do you love about this person?

If you are saying that you are in love with this person, but then saying gosh I just wish they would be this way or that way. I have heard people say, “I love her body, I love his abs, They are so fun when we are partying, The sex is amazing!” As great as these things are, if this is what you are basing a long lasting marriage on I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it’s probably not going to last.

A true partner in life will encourage you to pursue your dreams and goals- being a true partner in life you will encourage your partner to pursue his or hers. Being a partner in life means that you go through life in a way that ensures both of your lives will be fulfilled.

No one ever said love would be easy, but when it’s with the right person it’s worth it!

Our love isn’t always easy, it’s not always beautiful! Sometimes passion and adventures take a back seat to real life- Things like cleaning the house, toddler life, and teen life- like working and paying bills. Well, I can also tell you that perfection doesn’t exist well at least not the way that “perfection” is displayed!
The truth is that our Love isn’t perfect! Love is happy and Love is sad! Love is fun and Love is boring! Love is beauty and Love is ugly! Love is smooth and Love is bumpy! Love is glass half empty as well as glass half full! Love is fancy dresses and sweat pants, Love is bare feet and heels, Love is roller coasters, and slow boat rides, Love is running a race, and Love is sitting on the couch! Love is late nights and early mornings! Love is sunshine as well as a horrible rain storm! Love is calm waters and a crazy hurricane! More than this Love is a choice! Love is a choice that has to be made every day! Some days it will feel easy! Some days it will be a struggle. As long as your relationship is built on a strong core everything else will fall into place.

When seeking out a relationship for the first time ask yourself-
Are you weak or strong? Are you smart or dumb? Are you proud or ashamed of who you are?
Find someone that brings out your strength! Find someone that brings out your smarts! Find someone who is proud of who you are and where you are going!

What is Love to you?
Do you agree or disagree?
What advice do you have?

About the Author

Chrissy Hise

Chrissy Hise

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