Partner in Life

Friends / boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife

More than these titles I think it’s important to put more emphasis on “Partner in Life.”

I remember at an early age my brothers and sisters, mom and dad, and others would say things like oh is that your boyfriend? You know in a joking manor, but looking back it’s funny to me because there is so much emphasis put on getting a boyfriend, and getting married.

Being in a broken relationship for 5 years – 2 of that being engaged… I was never asked if I thought he was going to be a good partner in life or if I could be a good partner to him. I just had the same mentality that most people have, you know this one… if we get married things will change. Aren’t we all under that impression that if we get married things will change. Like some how some way standing there in front of the pastor, judge, or clergy that it will some how fix the issues?

It doesn’t, all it does is add to the issues because now there are more expectations without the tools necessary to meet those expectations, or maybe the tools are there, but one or both parties aren’t willing to pick up the tools. It’s very important to have clear expectations of what your idea of marriage looks like. You should also be willing to listen to your partner and hear what expectations they have in marriage. I think when joining together, understanding what you “love” about that person, and understanding how they love you will only help your relationship grow.

Marriage is hard, but it’s also awesome and amazing! The road of marriage will have many curves, many road blocks, many stops. Take them in strides, understand that there are seasons. Those seasons will reflect many different pictures. There is a difference between seasons that you can come out of stronger, and seasons that are just darkness…

Take a look at your relationship- Do you have clear expectations? Are you and your partner equipped to reach those expectations? Are you hearing your partner? Is your partner hearing you? What gives your relationship strength?

One more thing to think about: Are you emulating to your children and the people around you the kind of relationship that you want for them? Are you showing them how to love? Are you showing them how to receive love?

7 years together, almost a year of marriage, 3 kids, 3 states, 3 homes, 2 rentals, and a dog….
Talk about seasons! We have taken some huge leaps of faith in this beautiful thing we call life. We have made a choice to work together, more than that we made a choice to put God at the center of our relationship- This has been the key.

What is at the center of your relationship? Is it finding someone to share your “dream” wedding with? You know the one that you had dreams about as a child (before you even knew who or when you would be getting married?) This to me is a little comical because little girls and boys are out there being taught that they should be planning this ideal wedding, but they have no idea who they will marry, even better they have no interest in even considering where said partner might want in a wedding. They get engaged and then starts the planning for the “dream’ wedding… maybe just maybe you should talk to your future partner and focus a little less on all the bells and whistles and a little more on the future of your relationship.