So much beauty in the Chaos!
Yesterday we decided to make an afternoon community pool visit- This isn’t something that I choose to do very often, I get a lot of anxiety. I turn into a serious helicopter parent, while our 6 year old wearing a life jacket and our 15 year old is right beside him in the pool. Then I start watching everyone else’s kids like as if they are mine, then I see so many bodily fluids coming from everywhere…
Yesterday wasn’t any different in these areas, but the difference is that I watched so much more- I watched this sweet family with a 3 year old encourage him to jump off the diving board and this tiny tyke stood there looking at his Mom and Dad and smiling so big, he counted with his little fingers to five and then he asked if his “Daddy could be right there” while he pointed directly in front of him, and his Dad jumped into the pool without even thinking and that little guy jumped so willingly into the pool, then he was on instant repeat except now doing it by himself. His Mom was so proud she physically called like 5 people to tell them about her amazing 3 year old and how brave he was, then it happened, he stood on the step to the diving board and mid phone conversation the Mom asks him, “Are you peeing and without hesitation he said yes with the happiest most proud smile on his face, then quickly yelled, “I’m a big boy”.
I watched our 6 year old conquer his fear and jump off the diving board! I watched him make 2 new friends, I watched him help a toddler out of the water! I watched a couple of the life guards high five him and encourage him!
I then watched my 15 year old, Jacob, with such admiration. He so lovingly plays with his little brother! The smiles and laughter are just the best sound in the whole wide world, then it happened… Jacob said to Chandler you wanna go down the slide and Chan was quick to say, “But, I’m so little to do that”, then Jacob told him not to worry because he was going to make it happen. Then the big moment came I stood there at the end with my phone camera in my hand waiting and watching… They got to the front of the line and I watched as Jacob and the life guard had a little conversation. Then all of a sudden the life jacket came off and up they went. The young life guard quickly yelled over to another life guard to stand closer to the slides to help the cute little boy in a purple shirt-
The smile on Chandlers face as he flung out of that slide like a cannon ball! Oh my goodness! Talk about my heart exploding! Then to watch Jacob with his bout of confidence! He walks over to me and I just smile at him- He says, “I told you Mom”! I asked him how he felt about it and he grinned and shrugged his shoulder and then came the biggest smile and he said I feel pretty cool – We high five’d and they were at it again!
The whistle blows for a quick 10 minute break- Chan lays down and so do I (Relax time) Jacob says he’ll be back he’s going to chat with his friend- I send him on his way and watch as he makes his way over to the group of life guards and staff heckling it up… As soon as he arrives he is greeted with smiles and hand shakes and fist bumps!
What a great feeling as a parent to see that our kids are accepted! He was totally in his element! The best part about this is these are not kids that he plays sports with they are just kids at school-
As I am watching all of this play out – right in front of us is Jacob’s Principal with his family, his girls were tugging at him and his wife’s hands and they were quick to follow – It was sweet to me because they were totally present in the moments that were taking place – Kids and adults alike were coming up to him and his wife and chatting a little each kid seemed to have his or her own handshake with him… How cool is that – This man has made each student feel special, not only feel special but him and his wife have made it a point to show that they see these kids! Then he approached me after saying to his kids okay we are packing up and I kind of giggled, he said you know I have to be stern, obviously joking because it wasn’t at all and I responded back, “Oh me too especially with that one as I pointed to Jacob” He was quick to let me know how much he enjoyed Jacob! He said Mom, “you’ve got a good one” He talked about how kind and respectful Jacob is and what a good heart he has! Tears filled my eyes (thank goodness for sunglasses) I smiled and said oh I know we are very proud of him for sure and we tell him all the time. We chatted a bit more and he said, “Mom, you’ve done something right”! As sweet as this is – I responded back with I am positive that God has just been placing amazing people in our lives that have helped shape and mold him. He smiled and agreed you know you are right we are all impacting our youth!
I watched as tiny tykes smiled so big as they splashed in the kiddie area! I watched as the little biggs made there way around the whirl pool laughing, smiling, and playing! I watched as the biggs were playing water basketball and they were letting the little biggs join in if they wanted. I watched as the young girls laid out on chairs without a care in the world and how sweet that was! How I remember those days and how bitter sweet that was! I watched as the 20-30 somethings were holding there little babies, and or chasing toddlers, I watched as the 30-40 somethings were watching there big kids and trying to get a little sun on our totally “Hot Mom Bods!” I watched how the 40 and ups sat in chairs and just took it all in, some had books, some were watching away from the pool…. It hit me-
It wasn’t that long ago that I was that young girl laying out hair and make up on point! Then I was the 20 something with a young child clueless and confused at where I belonged, now I am the 30 something trying to navigate being a Mom to Biggs! I know now that I need to hone in on where I am today and soak it up because the other stages have flown by!
What ever stage you are in-
Embrace it! Embrace where you are in your journey today! Do not tell yourself – I’ll wear a swim suit when I lose a few more pounds. Do not miss out on precious moments! Open up your eyes and see the good in those chaotic moments because there is so much good to see!
Experience – each moment as it happens, stop trying to rush your kids to the next stage in life, stop trying to rush yourself to the next stage in life! Stop trying to skip these important moments! Start creating memories for yourself, your children, your friends, your family! Experience life in the skin you are in! If you are working at improving things! Yesss! So excited and proud of you, but please do not forget to love the skin you are in because it’s that skin and body that is helping you get where you want to go and that has gotten you where you are!
Enjoy It! Even through the snot, urine, chaos! Even through the teen life, Even through the long lines, traffic jams, laundry and dishes – Enjoy this beautiful life! Just think about it like this if there were no dishes in your sink or no laundry for you to wash or no traffic jam for you to get through or snotty noses, urine and other bodily fluids there to clean up… It would mean that you are alone! I for one have learned and am learning that I want it! I want it all. Kids or no kids Enjoy your life and what’s in it while you are working to change the things that do not bring your happiness!