You are:

You are Strong
You are Smart
Be Confident

Who are you? Maybe a better way to word this is what words describe you? I have three simple questions that you should ask yourself. These questions should be asked when it comes to relationships, choices, and really every aspect of your life.

Question 1: Are you Weak?
Answer: No! I am Strong!

Question 2: Are you Dumb?
Answer: No! I am Smart!

Question 3: Are you Ashamed of yourself?
Answer: No! I am Confident in who I am!

These three questions can save you from a lot of heart ache- I say this because of the fact that these 3 questions should be the basic 3 core principles that you have for yourself. I am Strong, I am Smart, and I am Confident! Believing these things about yourself and forcing the people that you involve yourself with to treat you with this same respect will be a win for every one.

Example:

A 13 year old boy has his his first date, and he has been chatting with this girl for a week or so, at any rate. She hasn’t exactly been nice: When we dropped him off she sent a text and said, “hey act like you don’t know me when my mom drops me off.” Then next day she calls and hangs up multiple times, and sends weird messages saying that she is someone else, then the school week starts and she asks him to walk with her via text and when he went to walk with her she walked super fast to the point that he could’t keep up… This boy even tells 2 small lies to his parents, then this boys grades start slipping because he is spending too much time waiting for that text message.

Mom has a conversation with the boy-

Are you weak? He responds and says no that he is strong, the Mom then says if you are strong why are you allowing this person to make you feel weak and helpless? Mom then says are you unable to do the work? The boy says No, I’m smart. Oh okay why are you spending all your extra time waiting on messages or a phone call and not keeping up with your work? Then she says to him are you ashamed of who you are? He says, “No, I am confident in who I am… Oh you are? Why are you letting her act as if she is ashamed of you? Why are you allowing her to not be proud of you and introduce you to her parents? Why are you chasing her down a hall and allowing her to make you feel like you aren’t good enough? Why are you telling lies?

If you are Strong, Smart, and Confident then why are you changing who are you for this person? Why are you behaving in a way that portrays you to be weak, dumb, and ashamed of your core and who you are?

It’s never easy to have a conversation like that with someone, but I think if you can break it down or simplify the conversation you won’t lose them as fast. This same conversation could be had with an adult or anyone in your life. It’s simple if you are with someone that breaks you down or treats you like you aren’t smart or acts ashamed of you I assure you that is not your person. If a person makes you want to devalue yourself and do things that are outside your core values they are not your person. They are not your friend, and they don’t deserve to be in your life.

I promise you that when someone loves you they will encourage you, they will brag about you and they will want to physically show you to the world… Anyone can show you to the fake world of facebook or instagram if you will, but when someone is truly not ashamed of you they will be proud to walk with you, proud to physically talk with you, they will be proud to introduce you to the people that mean the most to them. If someone isn’t trying to take you home to meet there Mama you shouldn’t be trying to take them home and introduce them to your special place.

Maybe you are already married and you feel like there is no way out because you made a promise to your family and to God, but I assure you that God doesn’t want you to be miserable. A relationship takes 2 and if you are’n’t getting what you need from your partner, and they aren’t willing to take steps to work on the issues with you, then they aren’t your person.

Relationships are hard hard work, but that work has to come from both sides, and if you decide to choose this person make sure that they choose you.

Scrolling through social media or listening to people talk; this term “relationship goals” seems to be everywhere. What does this mean? As you scroll through a social media platform you might see a screenshot of a cute text message, maybe there is a picture of a boy and girl doing a little photo shoot together… While these things are cute and fun- When did these types of activities become “relationship goals?”

Maybe I am old fashioned, but when I think of “Relationship Goals”I think of an older couple holding hands sitting on the porch watching kids and grand kids playing. I think of a couple that is absolutely exhausted from the day or week and yet they make time for each other. I think of a Strong woman keeping the house together while her husband is away on business. I think of a Dad waking up with the baby in the middle of the night allowing his wife to get some well deserved rest. I think of a couple washing the dishes together after a not so great home cooked meal. I think of a couple that is just doing life together, and treating each other with respect and love. I think of a couple that argues, but then compromises and they both have the goal to keep the relationship going. I think of a couple that is actually spending time together and not trying to take pictures and come up with the next best tag line on facebook.

All to many times in today’s world I think that we often times settle- We allow our selves to settle with the bare minimums because they are the easiest and quickest to receive. We rely on a text message to prove that someone “loves” us. We yearn for a post confessing ones love for us, or we wait for that comment from that “special” someone to prove they are invested in us. What do those things really prove? Why is it so important to get those comments or likes or posts? Wouldn’t it be better to receive a hand written note from that person? What about an actual voice call, even better would be an invite to go on a date. Why are we as a people settling for the minimum when we deserve the maximum?
You can’t fix people, they have to fix themselves=