Good bye 34

Today marks the first day of my “Birthday Month.” A Birthday Month, I mean what is this? Late teens early 20’s this looked like: new outfits, dancing lots of nights away, minimal responsibilities and new whatever I wanted. What does this look like now? Over the past few years it has changed to “Experiences” for my 34th birthday: I just wanted to hike a mountain, paddleboard, and eat somewhere new. I had a couple of things that I wanted a pair of rainboots and a pair of scrunch butt swim bottoms… But you get the idea. 

34- will for sure be a tough act to follow: Bucket list was checked a few times this year! It was a year of endless adventuring that’s for sure! It was this year that I married my best friend, published a book! You can purchase on Amazon! Wheew that took a lot of courage to actually push the publish button. I hiked a couple of mountains, and visited a few new beaches, flew to Dallas Texas, took a trip to Tybee Island (this is where we got married). We then, moved from North Carolina to Indiana. I got to see Pink in concert! Our daughter graduated high school! We had our hearts broke- We had to put our sweet Lady girl to sleep. 🙁 She is in a much better place now. We bought a house, visited the Michigan Dunes, took a trip to St. Louis, took a trip to Niagara Falls, and took a trip to Cedar Point. I have been able to Embrace my family and friends, Experience moments of complete awesome! Honestly, I have Enjoyed all of it. It has been such a beautiful year! 

For my 34th birthday I had a few wishes for myself that I wanted to happen throughout the year: Those included being able to see myself the way that my loved ones see me, embarking on new challenges, spend more time helping in the community, embracing our new hometown, I wanted to learn to talk to myself with positive words, I wanted to show my kids how to love themselves, I wanted to try each day to be a little better than the day before, I wanted to display more patience… The question is did I accomplish these things? I believe that I am improving in these areas, and I believe that I will continue to improve in these areas. I know that each day I put my participation pants on- does that mean that they are always on the correct way, or that they are always zipped, maybe they aren’t clean? I dunno but I know that I am trying and that my friends feels good.

Wheew about to be 35! This is insane! I remember as a teen I would talk with my friends about when we turned 35 and what that would look like and I can tell you that I never even imagined that this is where I could have been. It was not in my realm of thoughts that this is the life that I could be living. For a long time in my life I felt like I didn’t know who I was. God was always there trying to show me who I was and for a short amount of time I would believe him, but then I would basically tell him he was crazy and follow my own path- Woah! What a path that was each time. Life always felt impossible, hard, and confusing. I would feel scared, worried, and stressed most days. I would hide those feelings well or I thought well with a fake smile on my face and basically float through life not feeling like it was my life. It’s funny for my whole life everyone I know including myself have put so much emphasis on who we are when really the emphasis should be on “who’s” we are. 

Not anymore, I don’t feel like a scared little girl, I don’t feel stressed, or confused. I know “who’s” I am! I now have faith in my day to day. I have learned and am continuing to learn each day. That is the key. I am learning to fall in love with my body and all of it’s imperfections. I can say that I know my truth- I no longer feel the need to explain myself for my decisions. I no longer feel like I need to gain approval to continue or start a path of my choosing. I know who’s I am- I am a daughter, I am a Wife, I am a Mom. I am a student of life, and I am Secure and Strong in who I am, and I am a mess. 🙂 

Here’s to the 30’s and being half way through! 

I can run faster, longer, and harder, I am physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger , I am so much wiser today than I was at the age of 25. I am still me and that will remain I am just a better version of me. I pray that with each day, week, month, and year that I am a better version of me.

I am excited for 35- I am looking forward to adventures to new places, making memories, and enjoying the life that I get to live.

At almost 35 – I choose to live! I choose to love! I choose to Embrace! I choose to Experience! I chose to Enjoy every moment that I get to experience this coming year! This life is mine and I am thankful to be me!